So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
