his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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