butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
