the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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