If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize