the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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