so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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