Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize