Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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