no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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