You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
