No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
