i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
