By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
