This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
