all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
