I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
