Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
