I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
