Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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