420 ftw
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
