where am i from again
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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