k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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