Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm eating all of the evidence.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
