Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
