Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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