so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize