she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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