if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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