Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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