come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize