walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
