addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
