i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
