I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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