HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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