just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Randomize
