Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
