Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
