if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
