I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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