Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
