apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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