she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
