Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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