idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
