I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
