well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
