wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
