I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize