Grow some girl-balls and come out already
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
