I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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