Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
