Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
