It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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