what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
