I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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