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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize