I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she peed on how many people?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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